Most months, I receive a message midweek that my daughter will be staying with me at the hotel for family weekend.

Most months, I receive a message late Friday telling me she will not be able to stay after all.

Midweek is when the team meets to review the stability of her behavior over the last week or so.  Thursday or Friday before family weekend is when she loses control.

Is it the excitement of the coming family weekend? Is it the full moon? Is it because someone “triggered” a violent reaction by annoying her in some real or  perceived way? Is it because she decided to refuse school? Is it because she feels “right,” and thinks everyone else is “wrong?”

Yes. Maybe. Who knows.  There is often no apparent rhyme or reason to her mood/behavior swings and violent tantrums.

One speaker at a recent family weekend told parents that  self-control is the most important thing to teach our children; the most important  skill for them to learn.  He was right…of course.

I can model it, I can talk about it – but I can’t make her learn or understand it. If I could, she would be here at home.

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